


Remembered

by Veronibell



Series: My piece of heaven [2]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: M/M, Original Character Death(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-09
Updated: 2012-04-09
Packaged: 2017-11-03 08:06:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/379183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veronibell/pseuds/Veronibell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With time he knew that the chasm would become a fissure soon all that would be left would be a scar, something comforting in its own abstract way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remembered

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, so please don't sue me. Not intened to be a reflection of those people bearing these names

Nate could still see and feel her all around. His Lucy. It had been years since he and Brad had lost her, but still, he knew she was still here somehow. He saw her eyes every time he looked in the mirror; saw her spark of life in Brad. He felt her all around their home, through everything he did. 

But Nate also felt her absence. It felt as though he was walking around with a gaping chest wound, where anyone could see every beat of the half of his heart that hadn't been buried with Lucy. A wound that no matter how much he tried to focus on what he still had, and no matter how much time there was wouldn't heal. 

 

That morning Nate had woken early and for the first time he couldn't remember what it was like to see her smile, the one that would show the slight dimples. That thought scared him. The thought that he was starting to forget his little girl was worse than anything he had experienced. Nate lay there listening to Brad's deep, even breaths. He lay there until he felt his own breath match Brad's. Getting up he walked into the living room, put the DVD disk he had watched after the funeral repeatedly. It made him feel as though she was still alive. He watched his beautiful baby girl grow up, watched her become everything he had given up hope of ever becoming himself. He watched her with Brad, with Ray, with Walt. He watched himself offering encouragement, support, warnings. He saw himself grow. He saw Brad relax and enjoy being a parent. He saw the birthday parties and wondered what they would have done for her birthday. Today was meant to be her 21st birthday. Nate meandered around the house until it started to feel oppressive; he made his way to a place where peace would be offered.

 

**

 

Nate sat in the dew covered grass by the headstone. It was simple and elegant, so much like the girl herself. Lucy Rachel Fick, 2003-2020. Beloved daughter. Our light. Those words seemed to hypnotize Nate; sitting there he could almost make himself believe that she was sitting next to him, watching him. That at any moment his Lucy would talk to him.

 

_Dad, what are you doing?_

 

Thinking of you

 

_Dad, it's been four years, I get it, you miss me, but this is not healthy._

 

I thought I was the parent here.

 

_Semantics. Dad, you have kept my room the way it was when it happened, neither of you have fixed the fist size whole in the wall, the photo's only got reframed because Uncle Walt did it. You walk around in a haze. You miss me, I know, but I will never leave you, you or Pap. I am part of you. It hurts to see the chasm that has grown between you and Pap; almost all my memories of the two of you together are seeing you so in love and united, so close that this divide just seems wrong._

 

Lucy, you don't understand. I still love him, but without you...I feel lost.

 

_Oh, come on, Dad even Uncle Ray could figure this out. Dad, if you feel lost you go to the person who has never lead you wrong, never lead you astray. You have talk to Pap let him help you and help him in return. You think he isn't struggling with this too? Both of you need to move on, live your lives._

 

Nate could nearly convince himself that he was really talking to his daughter, that she was real, that the hand she reached out to wipe the tears that had stared to fall without Nate realizing, was real. That the warmth the hand emitted was from his girl not the sun.

 

_Dad, it's time to let me go, to live your lives. You and Pap will be fine. I love you and I will always be with you and I will always, always be yours._

 

Nate could feel the phantom of the touch on his face and the kiss that had been placed so many times before on his check. He let the tears fall. He let Brad pull him to his feet. He talked about the piece of his heart that he thought he couldn't live without. He hoped that Lucy would be happy with the effort. With time he knew that the chasm would become a fissure soon all that would be left would be a scar, something comforting in its own abstract way.


End file.
